Vaheria



The Most Glorious Illustrious Noble and Great Kingdom of Vaheria, more commonly known as Vaheria is a country that is part of the continent of Erehwon. It shares land borders with Transylvaheria to the north and Fales to the west. The country is bordered by the Dark Sea to the east and the Bay of Denial to the west. The island of Sighreland is just off the west coast of Vaheria. The south is bordered by the Saw Sea.

Vaheria's terrain mostly comprises low hills and plains, especially in central and southern Vaheria. However, there are mountainous regions in the northwest and in the east. The capital of Vaheria is Elphton, which has retained its medieval size more or less, and is a global centre for gambling, theatre, trade and the paranormal. The current monarch - since 17th November 1558- is Queen Elizabelph II. The population is mostly centered around the southeast with the majority residing in Elphton. Vaheria uses the fugger ( ℱ) as coinage.

The Kingdom of Vaheria was made inaccessible in 1603, when the endangerment of the Queen put into effect a nation-wide protection spell. This preserved all buildings, persons and places inside the spellsphere in the instant it was cast. In 2012, the spell was lifted and Vaheria returned to the world once more. The Queen was unharmed.

Toponomy
The name Vaheria is derived from the Old Elphish name "Vaerlund", which itselph is derived from the Elpho-Sexman phrase "Varr Lud" which was pirated illegally from the Va-hr Gorl phrase "Vaaas LaLa" which can be downloaded illegally to be translated back into the modern tounge which translates to 'Vaheria'. The first known use of the word in its modern spelling dates from 1313.

Antiquity
In ancient times Vaheria was known to be populated by cryptozoological creatures, labelled today unfairly as 'beasts' and 'monsters'. The first sentient inhabitants of Vaheria were the ancestors of today's near-extinct bogeyman, the Shadowmen;who brought humans to the country around 780,000 years ago, to be hunted as sport. An assortment of fossilized creatures now only known in legend such as the Manticore, Harpy, and Gorgon were also found in this region.

The early inhabitants of Vaheria settled as early as 128,000 BC, after having driven out the Shadowmen with the discovery of fire and light. The vast seas and mountains surrounding Vaheria prevented much travel, and the inhabitants lived in isolation for millenia. It was not until 5000 BC that the first signs of advanced agriculture appeared, marking the beginning of civilization. The Vaherian culture was established by the 27th century BC. Localised trade with the other tribes has been speculated at.

With the arrival of the being known only as 'Pha' in 1627 BCE many of the inhabitants of Vaheria vanished. It is assumed by most scholars today that the disappearance of many tribes-people had something to do with the mythical 'Phaistos Disc' a legendary artefact created by Pha to travel between dimensions. The legend says Pha got the setting wrong on its magical record player and accidentally sent the majority of humans into another dimension, with the disc. Pha was said to have united the remaining peoples and in a sense created the first Kingdom of Vaheria.

Pha became the ruler of Vaheria, then smaller than it is now, with a capital based in the temple of Medhue in Elphton. A succession of Pha's ruled Vaheria, each with varying degrees of success.

In 410 AD Pha vanished, leaving the country vulnerable to the pillaging tribes of Transylvaheria, then called Snowland, to the north.

Middle Ages
With the disappearance of the leader, the country was open to factions infighting and invasion from the north. One King rose out of the ashes of Elphton (which had been burned by an angry ginger tribeswoman called Binchdicca) one King to rule them all, one King to bind them, as one. The reign of King Novo of the corn provided the country with a unity and stability that had yet to be found elsewhere in the region.

Vaheria plunged itselph headfirst into the dark which lasted for ages. Until one day, someone turned on the light. With magic. It was the time-travelling mentally unstable Queen Elphaba of 2011. Yooo hoo!

With the return of a leader, who viciously slaughtered anyone in her way, the people of Vaheria would gladly prostrate themselves before their new ruler. In exchange for their undying loyalty and unwavering love, the new Queen promised to protect the nation from outsider threats. And protect them she did, meeting any rebellions or threats to her realm with magical squashings, fireballs, and horrific public executions, often involving flaying. When Elphaba was destroyed in 1066 the public went into mourning, many refusing to eat wine or cheese in honour of her memory. The monarchy continued through her line of succession with notable Kings such as King Huskan of Auxifur, King Jerome the Mild, King Hilary the Woman and King King the King.

During this time Vaheria expanded greatly, conquering nearby lands and annexing them, most importantly the country of Fales, which has been part of Vaheria ever since.

Early Modern
The following account was written anonymously via a Ouija Board:

In December 1532 the country entered a constitutional crisis. King Harry Vill Vaher was ill and told by his court wizard he would only have two more children. His first daughter was a vegetable who was unfit to rule (she was literally a cabbage), and the King needed to guarantee the succession. To do so he made a deal with the Grim Deanimator who would in turn bring him the perfect soul to rule his country, provided he eat Princess Cabbage and end the charade. Death agreed and chose the spirit of an angelic princess who had been cursed with a poisoned apple to sleep forever; he watched over the King and Queen as they made love, and was about to permit the Princess' soul to enter the womb and reincarnate as a baby, but was prevented from doing so by the spirit of Elphaba, who reminded Death he owed her a favour, and demanded to be sent back instead. As Death refused Elphaba pushed the spirit of the princess into a vase of flowers nearby while the royal couple went at it, the dead roses bloomed into life and Elphaba took her chance, jumping into her new destiny. In 1533 she was reborn, and named Princess Elizabelph of the House of Vaher.

Never one to be cheated though, Death made an adjustment to her re-birth, the new Princess would have no memory of her former selph, no magical powers, and more importantly, no immortality. However she was to be no less short-tempered, bloodthirsty or ruthless.

The deaths of King Harry Vill Vaher, her older sister Queen Cabbage, and her older brother King Edward #2 left the new Queen Elizabelph alone and free. After years of persecution during her sister's reign and having to dodge suspicion she was not a real cabbage at all, the new Queen no longer had to conceal & not feel her true selph. Her first act as Queen was to order the immediate imprisonment of all cabbages and all those suspected of being cabbage supporters, however all were released after the coronation. Queen Elizabelph's coronation feast was marked as the longest, most elaborate, and most expensive wine & cheese party to ever grace Vaheria's soil. Queen Elizabelph's reign was remarkably peaceful, with new discoveries being made in the construction of wigs, cosmetics, dresses, and science. Discoveries were made around the world, with explorers/pirates founding the first and only Vaherian colony of Fugmoor, which still stands today. The most frequent threats to Elizabelph came from the farms and markets of her own country - the conflict with the cabbages never truly went away, with multiple attempts on the Queen's life. In 1588 after the execution of her nemesis and confirmed cabbage supporter, Miley Queen of Rots, Vaheria was threatened by the Sokharian Armada, who wished to seize the throne for themselves and all their cabbages, but were defeated by the Vaherian navy.

Contemporary
Due to Vaheria being isolated for 400 years, large chunks of history that feature in the shaping of the culture of other nations is missing. Due to this Vaheria is considered the perfect time capsule for the late 16th century, as literally nothing has progressed beyond that point. During this time the highest ranking body outside of Vaheria and unaffected by the curse acted as Monarch, allowing the crown to generate revenue and to move with the times, despite the motherland being immobilized in time.

Since being freed the country of Vaheria has tried to catch up with the times, and has recently witnessed the construction of new roads, the introduction of electric light, and telephones. The United Nations has given Vaheria a grant, kept in perpetuity since Vaheria Froze, which has increased each year, to help rebuild their society to modern standards. Queen Elizabelph was grateful for the gift but as of yet it has not been seen to be used. The UN also named Vaheria one of the world's most rapidly advancing countries.

Politics
The country of Vaheria is governed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabelph II. Supporting her is her Parliament whom she tends to dissolve when the mood takes her.

Law
Laws are created by Her Majesty, as and when she sees fit. All laws suggested by persons not the Queen are often submitted to her for her approval. It is customary for Vaherian law to fluctuate wildly as the Queen often contradicts herselph and needs time alone to rethink her life choices. Every 13 months Vaheria enters the 'End Zone' where all laws are repealed and those no longer relevant or in use are stripped out of the Vaherian legal system. Vaherian law is often a headache for lawyers everywhere as due to ancient historical ties worked into the constitutions of many of today's countries, the Queen's word is law in whatever country she happens to be in. Many tyrants have been deposed by the Queen on state visits in this way. However many more have often been instated as replacements.

Regions, Counties & Districts
The subdivision of Vaheria is based around the ancient tribes that ruled the land. Natural formations often form boundaries between counties, but where there are none the established land division system is used.

The counties of Vaheria are as follows: Besides the Outerlands each has a Lord Lieutenant and High Sheriff which represent the Monarch locally. For the regions with these two posts there are also local councils, who in turn report to their member of Parliament. As such the Vaherian Parliament is very small, with only 10 members and it is often very easily swayed from one cause to another.
 * Greater Lindon
 * Bluecliff
 * Fellshire
 * Binchborough
 * Mudborough
 * The Outerlands
 * The Rake District
 * Fales
 * Westmoor
 * Norwall
 * Yessex

Geography
Can't you just look at a map? There's mountains and rivers and hills and a LOT of forest and also plains.

Landscape and Rivers
The majority of Vaheria is low rolling hills and green grasslands such as in Yessex Norwall and Westmoor. The county of Fellshire, home of Vaher Castle, is also home to the Fells, one of Vaheria's mountain ranges, and the River Gems, which provides the area with gemstones and sparkly mermaid scales. The river gems flows into the district of Greater Lindon, where with meets the river Arr, which from that point onwards becomes the river Germs.

The northwest of Vaheria is dominated by mountains and hills in the Rake District and Fales. The Rake District is known for the promiscuity and unfaithfulness of its northern inhabitants. It is also the source of the rivers Arr and Seven. The west of Elphshire features many gradually sloping hills and is a centre for farming in Vaheria. The Outerlands is predominantly flat but is also, dominated by ravines, cliffs, and intensely thick pine forest.

Vaheria has a treacherous coastline with many cliffs, rocky outcrops and as such is easily fortified. As it is predominantly out at sea, the few calm spaces are filled with ports and are not suitable to attack.

Where Vaheria is not bordered by sea it is often surrounded by mountain ranges belonging to surrounding countries, which make it easily defendable and nigh impenetrable on the occasion an army dares invade on foot.

Climate
Vaheria has a temperate maritime climate: it is mild with temperatures not much lower than 0 °C (32 °F) in winter and not much higher than 32 °C (90 °F) in summer. The weather is damp relatively frequently and is changeable. The coldest months are January and February, the latter particularly on the Vaherian coast, while July is normally the warmest month. Months with mild to warm weather are May, June, September and October. Rainfall is spread fairly evenly throughout the year. It is not unheard of for random bouts of snow to fall around Fellshire, having blown off the mountaintops nearby.

Healthcare
Subjects of Vaheria are often subjects in more than one way. Some are used as test subjects to cure disease, many are riddled with the plague. Really it's luck of the draw which one you are. Vaheria has an infamously poor healthcare system, which dates back to the 16th century. Many people still rely on the use of herbs, leeches and bleeding to cure ailments they believe are caused by an imbalance of humours. Really though, the only imbalanced humour that's going to affect your life in Vaheria is the Queen's.

Economy
Vaheria's economy is centered around trade. This trade is done by land and sea as flying is illegal in Vaheria. The people of Vaheria use the fugger ℱ as their coinage. Vaheria is renowned for its exporting of gems and mermaid scales from the River Gems, which runs through Fellshire, and also for its exporting of lemons and salt from the saltmines in the Outerlands. The Queen reasons that since she's so bitter, why aren't her international symbols. The country remains wealthy due to the vast number of gems it can pawn off for cash internationally, a role filled by Her Majesty's Lord High Pawn Star.

The Vaherian international economy is as such, very poor.